Common Blocks to Letting Go of Things Among My Chicago Home Organizing Clients
As a Chicago home organizer, I often encounter clients who feel overwhelmed by clutter. This clutter isn't just physical; it's emotional and mental, too. While some people can easily part with items, many of my Chicago home organizing clients face significant obstacles when it comes to letting go. Understanding the reasons behind these challenges is the first step toward effective decluttering. Here are some of the most common blocks to letting go and how a home organizer like me can help.
Sentimental Attachment
One of the most prevalent reasons people hold onto items is sentimental attachment. Objects often act as tangible links to our past, reminding us of cherished memories and significant life events. Whether it's a childhood toy, a family heirloom, or a souvenir from a memorable trip, these items carry emotional weight.
Memories: Items can evoke powerful memories, making it difficult to let go. People fear losing the memory if the item is discarded.
Identity: Possessions can become intertwined with our identity, representing who we were at a particular time or who we aspire to be.
How to Overcome Sentimental Attachment
To tackle sentimental attachment, start by keeping only the most meaningful items. Consider taking photos of objects to preserve the memory without retaining the physical item. A home organizer can help by guiding you through the process, providing emotional support, and suggesting ways to repurpose or display treasured pieces.
It Was a Gift
Another common block is the feeling of obligation attached to gifts. Many people keep items because they were given by a friend or family member, even if they don't particularly like or use them.
Guilt: People often feel guilty about discarding gifts, fearing it will hurt the giver's feelings.
Expectation: There's a concern that the giver might notice the absence of the item and feel offended.
How to Overcome Gift Guilt
It's important to remember that a gift serves its purpose when it brings joy. If an item no longer does that, it's okay to let it go. A home organizer can help you reframe your thinking, reminding you that your relationship with the giver is not tied to the physical object.
You Paid Good Money for It
People often struggle to part with items they spent a significant and sometimes even a relatively insignificant amount of money on, even if they're no longer useful.
Investment: There's a feeling of needing to get value from the money spent, whether it was a splurge, a long-saved-for purchase, or an impulse buy.
Regret: Letting go can feel like admitting a mistake or poor financial decision.
How to Overcome Financial Attachment
Recognize that the money spent is a sunk cost and won't be recovered by holding onto the item. Consider donating or selling (if the item is truly valuable) to recoup some value, even if the value is simply returning it to a useful purpose with someone else. A home organizer can assist in finding ways to donate and sell items you will no longer use, providing a sense of closure and a fresh start.
You Might Need It Someday
The fear of the unknown often leads people to hold onto items "just in case." This mindset can create unnecessary clutter as people accumulate things they rarely, if ever, use.
Security: Keeping items for potential future use can feel like a safety net.
Possibility: There's a belief that as soon as something is discarded, it will be needed.
How to Overcome This Fear
Assess the true likelihood of needing the item and the ease of replacing it if necessary. The Minimalists (authors), suggest that if you can replace an in under 25 minutes for less than $25, it’s safe to let it go, and I whole-heartedly concur. A home organizer can help evaluate the practicality of keeping certain items and strategize on how to manage future needs without accumulating clutter.
Additional Reasons for Holding On
Beyond the reasons discussed above, there are other psychological factors at play, including:
Putting off/Avoidance: Decluttering can feel overwhelming, leading to avoidance. This is a common issue with ADHD, depression, and other conditions that impact executive functions such as task initiation. This may be an issue if you don’t know where to start downsizing, or and you’ve wanted to start decluttering dozens, maybe even hundreds of times, but have not.
Environmental Concerns and Waste: Concerns about environmental impact or wastefulness can prevent letting go. We are all aware of the negative impact of our consumer culture on the environment. It pains many of us to think of our past decisions leading to landfill waste or worse forms of environmental contamination.
Perfectionism: The need to declutter perfectly can paralyze action. Perfectionism can arise because of certain conditions (OCD, depression, anxiety), past trauma, a high achievement culture, and/or a personality trait. In the case of perfectionism, it’s often easier to avoid the issue than to get started.
How Home Organizers Can Help
Home organizers like me play a crucial role in overcoming these decluttering obstacles. Here's how we help:
Objective Perspective: Home organizers provide an unbiased view, helping clients make decisions based on practicality rather than emotion. We have a neutral stance on your stuff and can help you think through different angles, including the possible cost of hanging onto items.
Emotional Support: They offer understanding and encouragement, making the process less challenging. I often encourage clients to take breaks, take a seat, and get some water when we are decluttering.
Structured Approach: Organizers develop a step-by-step plan tailored to each client's needs, ensuring progress is made without overwhelm.
Practical Solutions: They suggest creative storage solutions and ways to repurpose items, helping clients keep what truly matters.
Accountability: Regular sessions with an organizer keep clients on track and motivated, while ensuring that the work is broken into smaller timeframes that are less likely to overwhelm.
Non-Judgment: Many people are embarrassed of their clutter and express concern that their house is “the worst” an organizer has ever seen. This is a cognitive distortion, as evidenced by the fact that I have heard it from so many people, including many with relatively neat and tidy homes! The bottom line is that your organizer is not there to judge you. She’s there to help you create the home life you want.
Acceptance: We, the organizers, work for you. If you tell me your goal is to downsize your possessions by a certain amount and I see you’re not doing that, I will gently press, and even provide “tough love” if requested. But ultimately, the decision is yours, and organizers accept that. You don’t have to get rid of anything you don’t want to.
Working side-by-side with them, I have watched my Chicago organizing clients transform their spaces and lives. Letting go of clutter isn't just about creating a tidy home—it's about freeing oneself from the emotional weight of unnecessary possessions and making room for what truly matters.
Decluttering is a journey, not a destination. With patience, support, and a willingness to let go, anyone can overcome the obstacles to a clutter-free life.